Who is your Wingman?
- BT - bombing target; the hot chick.
- Banzai shot - much as kamikaze pilots were given a ceremonial shot of sake before being sealed in their cockpits, the flight leader should buy his wingman a shot prior to a mission.
- Betty - an alliteration of Bombing Target.
- Bogie - a friend of the BT that has not yet been identified as a CB.
- CB - cock blocker; the hot girl’s troublesome friend and sworn enemy of the wingman. Also called a bandit.Dogfight - dancing with a CB.
- FL - Flight leader; also called the bombardier.
- Flak - snide remarks made by a CB in an attempt to drive the flight team from the skies.
- Flying blind - when the wingman indulges in so much in-flight refueling he jeopardizes the mission.
- Getting pinged - initial eye contact with a BT.
- In-flight refueling - when a wingman orders a flurry of shots to help him complete his mission.
- Kamikaze mission - when the wingman is likely to end up in the clutches of the CB.
- Landing gear - a wingman’s self-respect; if a FL asks his wingman to “leave his landing gear behind,” he’s preparing the wingman for a flak storm or kamikaze mission.
- POW - Prisoner of a Warthog; to go home with a CB, the supreme sacrifice of a wingman.
- Pig Alley - a play off of the Korean War’s infamous MIG Alley, this describes a BT swarming with CBs.
- Shite leader - a would-be flight leader without the skills to complete the mission.
- Shoot and scoot - an attempt to engage with more than one CB at a time.
- Tailgunning - when the wingman disgracefully abandons his air cover duties and attempts his own bombing run on the BT.
- Yank and bank - an attempt by the FL to maneuver the BT away from the wingman and CB for some one-on-one time.
KNOW YOUR COCK BLOCKERS...Before you tip that throttle and rocket off the runway, it’s best to know what you’re up against. There are three types of CBs, namely:
- Cinderella’s Sister: This semi-attractive woman is secretly jealous of her more alluring friend and won’t want to see her hook up because she’s tired of being the bridesmaid. She’s an easy target for flattery, especially if you compare her favorably with her friend. Tagline: “Doesn’t she have great breasts? Too bad they’re fake.”
- Den Mother: She’s such a wonderful, responsible, caring person that she feels the need to watch over her “wild” friend and keep all the naughty boys at length. She’s been honing her CB skills since high school and knows all the tricks, but can be cracked with a “you should really let your friend live her own life, she’s all grown up now” attack. Tagline: “Come on, Sweety, you’ve had enough to drink and it’s time to go home.”
- Brumhilda: Tempered by the hot fires of spite and bitterness, she dislikes men in general, either because she’s been denied their attention or due to past romantic difficulties. She is the most dangerous CB because no amount of charm can flatter her into letting your FL fly off into the sunset with her friend. Only the most skilled and dogged of wingmen can neutralize her, usually by pretending he’s gay and equally bitter. Tagline: “Hey you. Yeah, you, asshole. It’s girls’ night out. No men allowed. So why don’t you go play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself?”